We've Got This!

Aaron always had things under control. Or, so he tried to convince us. “Aaron, have you finished your homework?…have you cleaned your room?…have you made arrangements to get to practice tomorrow? And so on. No matter the question, his response was the same: “I’ve got this.” In other words, he had the situation under control. Presumably, this meant he had thought it through carefully; he knew what needed to be done; and he knew how to get it done. Or not.

In truth, Aaron improvised his way through life. There is great skill in improvisation. It doesn’t mean that you make things up as you go. Rather, good improv is based on self-awareness, timing and anticipation. When Aaron said I’ve got this, what he was really saying was, “Don’t worry. I’ll figure it out.” Usually, he did indeed figure it out.

When we decided to start writing and sharing about our cancer experience, there was no doubt whatsoever what our title would be: We’ve Got This. Like Aaron, we don’t mean to suggest that we have things figured out. To the contrary. There is no figuring out how to deal with the death of a teenager. But we improvise. And, yes, we do make it up as we go sometimes. But, like Aaron, we know that we will do what we need to do to keep moving forward. For us, writing and sharing our story helps us move forward.

The decision to start this blog is both selfish and selfless. The selfish part comes from the fact that it is good for us to talk about Aaron and our grief experience. We learned early on that there is no pre-approved way to grieve. This is why we are forced to improvise. The selfless part is that we share our story in the hopes that it might help someone else realize that they are not crazy or that they are not alone as they experience the wide range of emotion that is the essence of grief. Yes, grief entails sadness. But grief is also about finding peace, experiencing joy, and finding ways to keep Aaron’s spirit alive in our own lives.

We will keep writing as long as we have something to share. Take from it what you need and leave the rest behind. Let us know if you have thoughts, comments, or reactions to what you read.

With love,

Mike, LouAnn and Sam